Friday, November 13, 2009

Deer: You Should See the Other Guy

Strange things happen during the rut (mating season) to be sure.  You may have seen the photo of an elk trying to mount a buffalo statue just outside of West Yellowstone, Montana.  I can’t say what the result was in that case, but whether the bull elk was satisfied with his ‘hard body’ or not, he came away much luckier than the buck that chose to fight with a 640 pound ornamental statue of a big buck.  Antler marks indicate that the challenger locked antlers with the stoic buck, before finally choosing to  ram the concrete statue head first.  The buck staggered off about twenty yards from the statue (which finally tipped over) and died.  Don’t worry, the man who owns the property is a hunter with a deer tag.  I imagine it was the easier ‘hunt’ anybody’s heard of:

  1. Rise from bed.
  2. Scratch.
  3. Pee. 
  4. Walk from bedroom to front room.
  5. Notice statue on its side, and dead buck about twenty-five yards from the front door.
  6. Call butcher to pick up and butcher the deer. 
  7. Pick up venison at butcher, tell the story of the ‘hunt’ to everyone you encounter.
  8. Put the meat in the freezer. 
  9. Scratch.

   And, as you contemplate the poor dead buck who took on the badass big buck in your front yard; the very buck that wanted to be a big shot with the lay-ay-ay-dees, it occurs to me that this episode is an example of natural selection, and this buck has been spotted by the great lifeguard in the sky, who says sternly: “Hey! You!  Yes you, the guy with the cracked skull!  You are OUTTA the Gene Pool!

Deer loses head-butt with Wisconsin lawn ornament -

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Sunshine on Discovery Bay

Sunshine on Discovery Bay
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