Fatherhood

I'm continually surprised by my kids.  Most parents are, I know, and not always in good ways.  I have been fortunate in my life to have a pretty great time with good friends, interesting work and lots of interests.  Still, looking back I realize that there is an entirely new dimension to my life since I became a father and it has changed everything about me. 

I once thought of myself based on where I was from, or what I did for a living, or my world view ideologically.  I realized the other day that the first thing that comes to my mind now when a situation calls for me to tell someone who I am, is father.  I'm a father.  I choose what I do every day, with every free moment, based on wanting to spend time with my kids, and give them experiences.  I view most situations in life with an eye to making sure they are able to understand what is happening.  I feel cheated if I don't get to put them to bed, and never miss an event if I can help it.  They make me laugh often, and it is conversations with them in the evening that are my treasure. 

None of that is to say that I am a very good father.  I am rather critical of myself as a father.  But it is who I am, and what I want most to be.  I hope my kids never lose the desire to tell me about their day, read with me, take trips together and hang out together.  I know that even as a teen I still wanted to hang out with my own father.  Maybe I will be so lucky.